In the 1950's American television aired a favorite of children of all ages called Howdy Doody. The star was a trap-door-mouthed, pompadour-sporting red-haired marionette who was sponsored by one Buffalo Bob—and supported by Clarabelle the Clown, who later graduated to be Captain Kangaroo of equal or greater childhood fame.
Buffalo Bob broadcast live with an on-stage audience of children whom he called The Peanut Gallery. He was often heard to shout "Quiet in the Peanut Gallery!"
In surveying the offerors of armed-security services, it is not difficult now to discern between the Big Kids and the Peanut Gallery. For example, a peanut surfaced last week in Tenerife.
The peanut was being carried on a repurposed and ancient RN gunboat. Its owner, who had a hard time separating his fantasies from realities, asserted that the guns were really "for show"—a statement the Spanish authorities rightly suspected. Then it turns out that the "hand-picked"
warriors thereon were clearly hand picked—from the various waterfronts around where low-paying jobs could be found. The combat experience of these worthies was, we conclude, in bar fights. Not surprisingly, the Spanish were less than amused and made arrests.
Now there are others in the same Peanut Gallery. There is the fellow who believes that a private navy comprising re-purposed container ships and lesser vessels escorting convoys of ships in World War style—whilst the smaller vessels are hopping around the convoy like toads—will defy the basic laws of the universe comprising physics and money. As has been said, one can fool all the people some of the time but it is really hard to fool all of them all the time.
Included in the Peanut gallery are every rag-tag pick-up scurvy lot who ever carried a gun in Africa—a continental pastime and right of passage for lusty youths. They tend to fill in the back rows of the gallery.
This leads us to the Big Kids. There are several. They are the ones with whom the Big Boys of shipping should play.
They have the capital to do what they do. They are meticulous when it comes to obeying weapons laws and what laws there are for armed guards.
They are exacting in their rules of engagement and they operate—although with some risk—on the right side of the law as far as one can tell in this murky area. They are assiduous in following best practices and contribute to those practices. What does this all mean?
Owners, being Big Boys, ought to play with their kind—the Big Kids.
© 2013 All Rights Reserved. John A C Cartner,M.B.A., LLM, Ph.D. practices maritime law in Washington and London and is an unrestricted master mariner. His e-mail address is
jacc@cflaw.net
